Honey I'm Home! - Chapter #111

Free Enterprise  -  Honey I'm Home! - Chapter #111



Tyr awakened early the next morning, after an “interesting night”. He met Gilgamesh in the gym and they had a team weight workout. Where they each spotted one another.

Afterwards Tyr cleaned up and went up to the bridge to find out the Insurrections progress. Khan was waiting for him in The Ready Room. The Katay handed Tyr his favorite mug filled with raktigino.

“I have both good news and bad news.” Khan said as Tyr took a grateful swallow of the hot liquid. Tyr raised an eyebrow and frowned at his Pride Brother.

“Out with it, Khan!” Tyr demanded.

“Oh my, aren't we in a snit.” Khan said. He was forever psychoanalyzing.

“Khan . . . . . .” Tyr growled.

“We will be arriving at 1500 instead of 1800 hours.” Khan replied.

“And that was the good news?” Tyr asked. The last thing he needed to hear was they would be arriving early. That meant he absolutely had to see Kori by this afternoon and borrow VuVu.

“What is the bad news?” He continued.

“Once you arrive on station, you will receive twos sets of visitors. One will be expected, and will bring bad news. The other one will merely be a surprise.” Khan replied. Tyr's reaction was instantaneous. He put his mug aside, stood and walked over to stare out of the Ready Room clear steel portal at the stars.

“This does not get easier, Khan, does it?” Tyr asked.

“No, Tyr it does not, and will not for a while.” Khan replied. Tyr turned to gaze at the Katay as every tiny hair on the back of his neck stood.

“What do you mean?” Tyr asked. His Pride Brother had fully gotten his attention now.

“There is a fire coming soon that you will have to walk through by yourself.” Khan replied. Tyr perked up at the mention. Among the Katay there was the term “Fire Walker”. It referred to those who walked through the fiery trials of life, led by The Divine alone. Which meant . . . . . .

“Where will you be, Khan?” Tyr asked.

“I do not know. However I am sure of the fact that I will not be at your side.” Khan replied. Tyr actually got the chills. Khan had been with him for most of his life, so, for them to be separated was unthinkable.

“Do not discount your wives, Tyr. They will be very instrumental.” Khan continued.

“I've got quite a few things to take care of before we arrive. I'll meet you at 1500 hours.” Tyr said, after several minutes of contemplative silence. He had long given up trying to figure out Khan's predictions. He'd found the best policy in dealing with them was to “Let come what may”.

Khan watched the Ready Room's doors close behind Tyr's back, and began to pray . . . . . .



* * * * * * * *

Ten minutes later, Tyr was back in The Anasazi Quad having breakfast with Alexander, Lysander and Xena. Once they finished breakfast, and the dishes were cleared away, both Alexander and Lysander competed for Tyr's attention. They each wanted to show Daddy who could read and do their sums the best.

Both did exceptionally well, so both got well-deserved play and rough house time with Tyr until it was time for their naps. Tyr helped Xena put both boys down, then got down to making serious plans for the evenings activities.


* * * * * * * * * *


”I will have need of VuVu's services. I will need to borrow VuVu. Will it be possible for me to borrow VuVu for a few hours? I promise she will be unharmed and she will be returned. I have a mission for VuVu. . . .” Tyr thought as he rode the lift down to Sickbay. He was trying desperately to come up with the appropriate way to convince Kori to let him borrow her pet.

Were it not for the combination of The Intergalactic Hover Board Championship, the Diplomatic Shindig, and the clandestine data disk exchange, Tyr would've been anywhere but on his way to Sickbay. The Nietzschean Admiral frowned to himself, as he suspected the events had occurred on purpose in order to drive him into one of Kori's biobeds, so to speak.

Tyr stepped into Sickbay and found it quiet and deserted. Which is partially why he came at this hour. However, he knew better. Sickbay was Kori's territory and she tended to lurk. . . . . .

“So! You finally decided to grace us with your presence!” Kori said, loud enough to wake the dead and make Tyr wince. “You know damned well crew physicals were supposed to be completed three weeks ago, and as usual, you were the final hold out.” she continued. “How long did you intend to keep up this farce?” she asked. Tyr didn't bother answering that it would've continued until they arrived at Deep Space Ten. Then he could've hidden himself among the stations inhabitants and staff.

”Alas, that is not to be. Perhaps next year.” Tyr thought to himself.

“Come hither, Admiral.” Kori said as she gestured to the nearest bed.

“First, I must make a request.” Tyr stated as he put up his right index finger to stop her. He gave her a brief outline of the plan in five minutes.

“I will let you borrow her, but, you must first comply with my terms.” Kori stated simply. Again Khan had hit the nail on the head. Kori was not going to let him use VuVu for anything less than him submitting to her for his annual Starfleet physical. “In other words, no tikki, no shirtie. . . .” she continued.

”Drama Queen!” Tyr thought as he followed her to the nearest bed and lay down. Literally five minutes later, the exam was complete and Kori pronounced Tyr fitter than a Brahma Bull.

“Come.” Kori said, as Tyr stepped down from the bed. He followed her into her inner sanctum and he automatically went on the alert looking for Darwin.

“Don't worry, he's down in Hydrophonics. Some project he and Lt. Torres is working on.” Kori said, dismissively. VuVu was sitting on the side of her desk. Tyr looked from the giant Philodendron/ Wandering Jew-like plant to Kori. Clueless.

“Talk to her, Tyr.” Kori said.

“Talk to her?”

“Yes talk to her. She can see and hear you. She can talk too, but you'd need the universal translator for that.” Kori replied.

Tyr pulled the nearest chair forward and sat, fascinated that Kori said VuVi could see.

”See? With what? Tyr wondered, then started when he noticed a pair of snail-like eye stalks peering back at him through the vines.

“Those were NOT there before!” Tyr accused.

“Of course not. She keeps them hidden.” Kori said as a matter-of-factly and shrugged. Tyr could just imagine some poor soul freaking out because they thought they saw VuVu "looking at them. . . . ."

“Go ahead and tell her your plan.” she encouraged. Tyr felt like ten kinds of fool talking to a plant. However, this plant was an excellent pickpocket, and he was in desperate need of one. . . . . .

Forty-five minutes later, Tyr had the man. . . . er plant. . . . . . . for the job.


* * * * * * * * * *

Three hours later: Tyr stood in front of his mirror and watched as all seven of his wives had each commandeered a spot around him. They were all dressed to the hilt, but being women, they all had to stop and check to see if the last hair was in place, or if the lipstick shade was right. Plus check their hemlines, collars, sleeves, mystery pieces of lint, etc.

Finally they all gave themselves a group check and proclaimed themselves ready. Of course, Tyr was ready! Dressed to the nines in his Nietzschean best, including his circlet and Drago's cape. The entire group filed out of the Anasazi Quad, formed up with Cornelius, the Ceremonial Guard, augmented by Xena and 10 of the Insurrection's best Security people, and Khan. They all headed for the nearest forward exit portal.


* * * * * * * * * * *


Seemingly as soon as Tyr set foot on Deep Space Ten proper, he was met by HaxHis and her staff.

“Greetings Viceroy Anasazi! Boy! I am I glad you are here early!” HaxiHis said. Tyr was instantly on alert. “The Dolgarians are here and have been asking for you.” HaxHis continued.

“The Dolgarians? Who are they?” Tyr asked, as the group followed her lead to the nearest lift. His hyper alert senses also noted that Deep Space Ten was a lot more crowded than it was before he had left.

“They are dogs!” Khan replied. Tyr frowned disapprovingly at his Pride Brother.

”Now, what would make Khan blurt out such a blatantly racist statement?” Tyr wondered. In response, Khan removed a pad from a side pocket of his tactical shorts, tabbed it on and showed Tyr the holo. It depicted the face of a German Shepard. Tyr tamped down the urge to laugh hysterically..

“Dolgarians are a Human sized race of intelligent dogs.” Khan said. “You've forgotten the law of opposites, Tyr. If there is hot, there must be cold, if there is left, there must be right, port, starboard, up, down. And, if there are a Human sized race of intelligent cats, there must be a Human sized race of intelligent dogs. . . . .” Khan continued.

“You don't sound too happy about that fact, Khan.” Tyr replied.

“Unfortunately, we have encountered them in the past and the results were rather unfortunate.” HaxHis replied.

“How so? Territorial disputes?” Tyr asked.

“More like war, for twenty standard years.” HaxHis replied. "The war ended with an uneasy truce. We decided henceforth to stay the heck away from each other. That was about twenty-seven years ago." she continued.

“So, why would they . . . . . . . .? What in Divine's name possessed them to come here and seek me of all people?” Tyr asked.

“You can ask them yourself, because here they come.” Khan verbalized in a rushed and hushed warning.

Seconds later the party was surrounded by hundreds of Dolgarians, all barking at once. It was too much for the stations Universal Translator to handle or make sense of, so it just spewed static.

”I wonder what would happen if I threw a stick and ordered them to fetch?” Tyr speculated.

”I heard that! Behave yourself, Tyr!” Tamara rebuked him mentally, even though she personally wondered the same thing.

Meanwhile the noise level had risen so much that Tyr put two fingers into his mouth and whistled. The resulting piercing blast not only shut the Dolgarians up, but silenced and stilled everyone within earshot.

“Who is your leader?” Tyr demanded. Realizing too late that he'd just quoted the words from countless Old Earth Grade B Science Fiction movies. The now quieted pack stepped aside and allowed one Dolgarian step forward. It was a light brown and white Corgi with a white stripe on the nose.

“I am Stripe and the leader of this pack.” her feminine voice said. The Universal Translator had obviously gotten it's act together. “It is an honor to finally meet you Viceroy Tyr Anasazi.” she continued.

“Hail and well-met, Stripe.. . . . . .” Tyr started and was cut off.

“It smells like CATS here.” a Chinese Crested growled. In response, Khan hissed. A nasty sound coming from a six-foot-four, two hundred plus pound, bipedal Katay.

" Oh sh. . . . . . .!” Tyr thought, as he, his Ceremonial Guard and Security dropped their hands to their weapons.

“Shut it!” Stripe ordered without turning her head. It was obvious she knew who spoke.

“Well, it does. . . . “ was the response from a Boxer..

“Soldier! Founder! Shut your muzzles, NOW!” Stripe bellowed. Both Dolgarians whined and shut their traps.

“Please forgive me, Viceroy. HaxHis, Khan. Some of my pack are still pups and thus still have a few discipline problems.” Stripe explained, as she turned and glowered at the miscreants. They in turn shied away.

“I understand. I am on my way to a diplomatic function. I hear that you wished to see me about an important matter. If you don't mind walking with me. . . . .'' Tyr said, as he continued walking. Stripe fell in on his left side. Khan and HaxHis behind, and the rest of Tyr's entourage followed.




NOTE TO READERS What is NO TIKKE, NO SHIRTIE? Translated: "No ticket, no shirt. . . . . . ." Without the heavy Chinese accent. . . . . . .